What's with engagement rings? Why are men pressured to feel that it's the proper way to ask for a hand in marriage? What's this fixation on expensive jewelry? Can love really be bought/bribed? Why must women wear something that tells the world they're taken, yet men don't have to wear a similar flirt repellent? Why couldn't the norm be something more egalitarian like getting each other Lasik? Or, as practiced by some South Americans, both the groom- and bride-to-be wear plain bands on their right hands, then after the wedding, the bands move to the left hand.
I've had my ring for about a week now. I'm completely grateful for it, though feeling a bit guilty. It could have paid for a Harley. Or probably Super Bowl tickets. Definitely a new and much-needed desk and desk chair. I've been wearing it on my middle finger for about a week now, not out of rebellion, but thankfully, out of necessity, as it's too big. Not wearing it at all would be wasting it, and wasting the time and thought that went into building it just as G wanted for me. The same could be said for why I won't/can't give it back. I say 'thankfully' when referring to its size because I feel much more comfortable wearing it on my middle finger. Some may say doing so would belittle the ring's significance, but it doesn't as long as I know what it symbolizes. It also hasn't changed my daily life, for which I am very glad. I've managed to go a whole work week without my officemate asking about the lovely sparkler on my finger, which I'm sure she would have noticed, given her numerous statements about how I should "start thinking about getting married soon."
Both G and I have the same sentiment about weddings. We both dread having attention drawn unto ourselves and we both strive to live a life free of contradictions (this last point is relevant when you consider our stance on same-sex marriages and the position of the Catholic church on certain social issues). Needless to say, we're dreading the impending process that lies ahead to solidify our union. I am a reluctant bride, not a reluctant wife/life-partner.
I'm aware that many will say a wedding is not about me or my future husband, but our parents. Isn't there something else a person could do in life that would show your love and appreciation for your parents other than throwing a wedding??
Perhaps this is our moment to be the unconventional, innovative and creative people we wish we were. Stay tuned to see if we seize it or not!
(No fiance feelings were hurt in the writing of this post. Views expressed in this post are agreed upon between the author and her future husband.)
UPDATE: Came across this gem of an article - SO on point. Read it here.